January always drapes it’s winter blues over my shoulders.
It feels like depths of a sunless cold winter.
Beyond the “rebrand’ I haven’t figured out my life at all. I’m trying not let the darkness eat me alive or give it more meaning then it has. All the dreams of 2024 feel lost and fuzzy.
I find myself wanting to read, write, and create more. I’ve been leaning towards creating intentional handbound journals with a mix of different media paper to express creativity, explore the depths of life or potentially use as a means to archive ones self.
To document, not my day to day tasks, but my interests and inspirations. It’s all new and I feel myself working to balance with what was with what I desire.
Coming to the conclusion that I don’t need to balance anything. I can simply release it and move forth.
I’ve decided to discontinue my current line of journals. They no longer light me up. It doesn’t feel aligned and personally printing through Amazon gives me the ICK.
I find myself again mid-transition. Before I’d be angry at myself about it. Angry for changing my mind, again. Angry for how long it’s taking to figure out what is next. But instead, it feels like a stepping stone. Towards more clarity – a better sense of self.
I no longer know what I’m doing. I’m just being.
