“When our hands touch, I can feel the promise of love in your fingertips.” – Yosa Buson
Why do I start a majority of my social media posts with quotes?
Especially quotes with themes of love? Honestly, it’s one of the handful of things about the human experience I find valuable. Self Love, Parental Love, Platonic Love, Familial Love, Romantic Love — our capacity to deeply feel for the people in our lives is fascinating and terrifying.
In college, with the absence of all the pressure and stress of full-on adulthood and the luxury of time to frequently socialize. I’d be so in tune with the feelings of my friends. I remember catching up with a friend on campus about our weekends, it went something like this.
Me, “You know, just ran errands, worked and watched hella movies. But you know, around 3 pm yesterday I had a strong urge to call you and check in on you, how was your weekend”
Friend, “Really, around 3?”
Me, “Yea, I remember b/c I was driving and was trying to figure out how long it’d take me to get home to call you – it was a little after 3 pm” (ahh times before Bluetooth! lol)
Friend, “Me and X got into a huge argument yesterday. We were together until about 3:30”
Of course, it could be a coincidence or a fluke but this happened with a few others over the years. Some friends were living in different states.
As I’ve been thinking about my need for community, I realize that it may not just be a community, but something a bit smaller, more intimate. A community or village feels too large, too overwhelming. Or perhaps that’s just me overthinking.
Did you know in the winter, bees take turns buzzing and generating heat around the Queen to keep her alive through the cold months. The bees take turns being on the “outside” so they all have a fighting chance but many die in honor of the single goal of keeping the queen alive.
With that, I’m not sure a “bee” like community is what I’m looking for. I don’t want to sacrifice a few for the one. I want to sacrifice none – but perhaps that doesn’t align with the rules of nature and with that, I’m thoroughly overwhelmed and looking for solace in my paintbrush.
